At mass last weekend there were the typical hymns for this time of year. Joy and hope kind of songs. I found that I couldn't sing much, as I chocked back tears nearly all mass.
We've sheltered Olivia from these recent events. I'm thankful she's still at an age where we can do that, because I can't even comprehend how we'd tell her about what happened.
I've felt in a bit of a funk about carrying on with my life, and the joy that this time of year brings. It just doesn't seem right to celebrate and have fun when there are parents like me, whose life has just shattered. We've certainly lifted those people from CT and the Shetka family up in thoughts and prayers often. I also look at my own family with so much MORE love. Regular, every-day moments with the kids, I would try to imagine what it would be like if they were gone, and I can't even comprehend that pain. I tried to remove myself from distractions, and just BE with them. Pat wrapping his arm around me in bed that Friday night, I tried to imagine how Meg would be feeling that night as she came home from her husband's wake, laying in bed alone. It's SO painful what some people have to experience. It makes me wonder what God has in store,... what's the plan. If anything, maybe these events will at least bring families together more, and cherish the time they have together.
So, cherishing time together we have been. Snow, cookies, wrapping, crafting, singing... All while keeping those families in our hearts who aren't able to experience the joy and hope of the season right now.
Olivia has taken a bigger lead with helping to wrap presents this year. She can actually do the whole process by herself now. It takes a little bit of letting go for this OCD mama, but it's good for both of us!
Olivia helping with peanut butter blossoms:
The teachers do such an amazing job with the kids every day, and especially for their programs. The room is decorated everywhere, they play a slide-show of the kids prior to the program starting. The kids perform well rehearsed songs and finger plays, and they serve Jesus' birthday cake after. Since I teach in the same building at the same time, I was able to arrange for my students to read to the Kindergartners while watching Olivia's program. However, I wasn't able to stay to visit or take more pictures like I would have loved to. It was nice of my parents to come watch too.
Olivia SANG so well. Not just saying the words, but singing them. I was impressed. Quite a change from her timid self last year. I even had some people mention to me after what a nice job she did of singing loudly. So proud of that girl.
The sadness in my heart these days won't be going away forever, but there are plenty of moments of joy and hope to be celebrated. Looking forward to many more as the Christmas celebrations continue.
1 comment:
I feel the same way. I cannot imagine what it might be like for these families, especially this time of the year. But life is full of joy and hope too and we have to enjoy those moments as much as we can!
Merry Christmas to you all!
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